Mental health challenges in children often manifest as behavioral issues, but addressing these concerns requires a deeper, systemic approach. In a recent episode of Lift to Make Lighter, host Tom Telford sat down with Clair Mellenthin of Wasatch Family Therapy to discuss how treating child mental health extends far beyond individual therapy.
A Success Story
Clair shared a powerful story about a young boy who came to her struggling with deep depression and anger. When he first arrived, he was withdrawn and hesitant to trust anyone. Over the course of several months, Clair worked with him to create a safe therapeutic environment where he could slowly open up.
Through consistent support, he began to regain confidence, engage more with others, and express his emotions more clearly. This transformation was not just about addressing behaviors but also about helping him reconnect with himself and his family.
Challenges in Child Mental Health Today
The mental health landscape is full of obstacles—from long waitlists for therapy to issues with insurance coverage. Many therapists experience burnout due to the heavy emotional toll and systemic challenges in the industry. Despite these barriers, the work continues to be deeply meaningful as therapists witness children rediscover joy and resilience.
The Importance of Family Systems in Therapy
One of the biggest takeaways from the conversation was the emphasis on family systems. Often, parents seek therapy for a child’s behavior, hoping the therapist can ‘fix’ the issue. However, true, lasting change comes when the entire family system is engaged in the process.
Rather than isolating a child’s struggles as an individual issue, Clair highlights how the dynamics within the home—parenting styles, communication patterns, and unresolved traumas—impact a child’s well-being. The family unit must be involved in therapy for significant progress to occur.
Why Traditional Therapy Models Fall Short
Many therapy programs focus on treating the individual child, but empirical research shows that these changes often don’t last long-term. Studies indicate that when parents and children are treated together, the impact of therapy extends much further—often lasting up to seven years or more. Without this involvement, children are more likely to revert to old patterns within a few years.
The Struggles of Accessing Effective Therapy
Insurance models in the U.S. pose a significant barrier to effective family therapy. Many plans only reimburse for individual therapy with a formal diagnosis, forcing therapists to label a child with a condition even when the issue is systemic. This broken system can prevent families from accessing the care they truly need. Additionally, many therapists aren’t adequately trained in family-based therapy, leaving a gap in services.
How Schools and External Support Systems Can Help
Children don’t exist in isolation; schools, teachers, coaches, and mentors all influence their mental health. Clair shared a moving story about a school lunch lady who unknowingly became a lifeline for a struggling child. Her simple act of kindness—greeting him daily with warmth—helped him feel seen and valued and played a crucial role in his emotional stability. Being able to identify supportive adults in a child’s life is a great way to make sure they’re getting the help and love they need outside the home.
Balancing Structure, Play, and Unstructured Time
One major challenge for today’s children is the overwhelming pressure to perform. With increasing academic demands, extracurricular activities, and limited free time, many kids are missing out on essential play and creativity. Clair advocates for unstructured, device-free playtime where children can explore, make mistakes, and develop problem-solving skills without pressure. Parents can help by scaling back on over-scheduling and prioritizing time for connection and rest.
Supporting Teens Without Overwhelming Them
Maintaining a strong connection becomes more challenging as children enter their teenage years. Teens may push parents away, but they still need guidance and support. Instead of constantly offering advice or corrections, Clair suggests simply being present and creating space for open conversation. Asking, “Do you want advice, or do you just need to vent?” can make a big difference in strengthening relationships.
Self-Compassion for Parents
Parenting is full of challenges, and there’s no perfect way to navigate every situation. Clair emphasizes the importance of self-compassion for parents—acknowledging that doing your best is enough. No parent can meet every need all the time, but fostering a safe, loving environment and being open to learning and adapting is what truly matters.
The Power of Connection
Child mental health is complex, but it thrives on relationships. Whether through family therapy, school support, or unexpected connections like a caring teacher or mentor, children need safe spaces to grow and heal. By shifting from behavior-focused solutions to a more holistic, systemic approach, we can create meaningful, lasting change for children and their families.
For more information on family-based therapy and mental health support, visit Wasatch Family Therapy or LÉVO Mind Care.