When you picture the front line of your child’s mental health support, your mind might jump to therapists, pediatricians, or even your own parenting strategies. But according to therapists Jenny Howe and Ashley Connors, there’s a key figure we often overlook: your child’s teacher.
In their conversation on the Lift and Make Lighter podcast, Jenny and Ashley unpack how educators play an essential, often underestimated role in supporting children’s emotional well-being. And it’s not about diagnosing or treating them, it’s about observing, guiding, and creating a safe environment where kids can be themselves.
Education Is the Most Accessible Form of Mental Health Support
Public education is the only place where every child has access to consistent adult interaction, structure, and observation. Not every family can afford private therapy or has the time or flexibility to seek out additional help. But kids show up to school every day. And that consistency means teachers and school staff become powerful figures in their emotional lives.
Jenny shares how her own childhood, marked by instability, addiction, and her father’s eventual sobriety, shaped her desire to become a therapist. But it was school that gave her structure and safety.
For Ashley, the influence of teachers was just as pivotal. After experiencing the emotional rollercoaster of a sick parent as a child, she remembers the teachers who offered her kindness and stability, who “leaned in and loved me,” even when they didn’t have all the answers.
That kind of support might not be in the job description, but it’s woven into the daily reality of educators everywhere.
Emotional Learning in the Classroom Is a Lifeline
There has been controversy in recent years about whether schools should focus on emotional education. But as Ashley explains, kids are navigating a pressure cooker of social, academic, and emotional challenges every single day. Teaching them how to identify their emotions, set boundaries, and talk about hard things is a necessity.
And if you’re worried about it taking time away from academic performance, consider this: learning doesn’t happen unless a child feels safe. Emotional regulation, healthy self-esteem, and connection shouldn’t be seen as extras, but rather as the foundation.
Teachers Are Already Doing Therapy—They Just Don’t Call It That
Jenny and Ashley are quick to clarify: teachers aren’t there to diagnose or treat mental illness. But they are constantly observing how kids react to stress, navigate friendships, recover from failure, and respond to structure.
From the outside, it may look like they’re teaching math or running a classroom activity, but they’re also watching how your child shuts down when they’re embarrassed or lashes out when something feels unfair. That insight is invaluable.
Teachers are often the first ones to notice when something seems “off.” And when they bring concerns to parents, they do so from a place of deep care. “They see everything,” Jenny says. “They know your kid better than you think.”
Unfortunately, because of rigid rules and fear of overstepping, some teachers feel forced to stay silent even when they know a child is struggling. That’s where collaboration between schools, therapists, and families becomes crucial.
When Parents and Teachers Work Together
One of the most powerful themes from the episode is the importance of humility and open communication. Parents often struggle with guilt, fear, or even shame when they hear their child might be facing emotional challenges. But when they resist or become defensive, it only closes doors.
Jenny encourages parents to shift the conversation. Instead of trying to shield their children from failure, create an environment where it’s safe to talk about it. “When we provide shared spaces for mistakes,” she says, “we create trust. And trust is what helps kids accept help.”
Ashley agrees and points out that trust also applies to parents letting go. “It’s so hard,” she says. “But when we let our kids experience failure and make their own choices, they learn they can survive hard things. That’s where resilience is built.”
Exposure Therapy, Grit, and Letting Kids Be Uncomfortable
As therapists who specialize in anxiety and OCD, Jenny and Ashley emphasize the power of exposure: intentionally helping people face what scares them in order to build tolerance.
For kids, that might look like showing up for a school play after forgetting their lines the day before. It could be returning to football practice after getting hurt. Or it could be talking to a teacher about a rough morning at home.
The key is not to avoid discomfort but to help kids stay with it. “Avoidance makes anxiety grow,” Jenny explains. “The more we expose ourselves to discomfort, the more our brain learns that we can handle it.”
This applies not just to anxiety, but to building grit. Letting kids struggle (within safe limits) is not neglectful, it’s essential. When parents over-optimize, over-schedule, or overcompensate, they rob kids of the chance to experience and grow through challenges.
The Bottom Line: Support the Whole System
At the end of the day, mental health doesn’t live in a vacuum. It lives in systems—our families, our schools, our communities. Jenny and Ashley both emphasized the power of systems-based therapy, where multiple people in a child’s life are engaged in the healing process.
That means involving teachers when it makes sense. It means inviting kids into conversations instead of just talking about them. It means asking ourselves, as parents, “Am I trying to control this because I’m scared? Or am I letting my child become who they’re meant to be?”
Teachers aren’t just educators. They’re anchors, allies, and emotional mirrors. And when they’re part of the mental health conversation, kids get what they need: the space to be seen, to be supported, and to become resilient, emotionally healthy adults.
Explore more conversations like this one on the Lift and Make Lighter podcast, and join us as we continue to lift the mental health of families, one story at a time.